dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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