At least make sure they are 18
Why
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
