Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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