does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
