update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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