420 ftw
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
