when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
