Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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