Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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