i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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