Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
