Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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