You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
