idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
