Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
