I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
