You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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