I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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