omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
