i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
