Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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