that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
