apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
