my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
