I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
