its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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