How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
