Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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