Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
