And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
