Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How's work?
Spinning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
