There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
