Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
