soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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