i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
