I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
