If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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