A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
