You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
