the new term for farting is butt boxing.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
