yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
