stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
