I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
