no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
