I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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