just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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