some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
