THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
