we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
