I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and she was petting her beer can
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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